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Mafia Gazette Past Issue 152
The Mafia Gazette Issue 152 For All The News That Is News (E&OE) Monday 14th April 'MIAMI AND LOS ANGELES GO HEAD TO HEAD ' By Randle McMurphy In another dramatic twist to the East vs. West saga, the peace between the coasts broke down completely over the weekend, with Miami and Los Angeles ending up butting heads in a most dramatic fashion. Little is known about the specific reasons behind the breakdown in peace, but it is believed that there was some sort of arrangement between Benji Lambo, of the Mugleone Family, LA, and Gaetano Badalamenti of Miami. Sources close to the pair hinted that Benji did not uphold his side of the agreement, and that spurred Badalamenti into action. Gaetano headed to the city of Los Angeles, and waited there for his target, killing many of Lambo’s higher ranking Mafiosi in the meantime. Four Wise Guy’s, two Made Men, and a Capo lay dead before Benji finally woke from his slumber, and the gun battle started between him and Gaetano. Eye witnesses state the battle between the two former friends was fierce, with many bodyguards lying dead on the ground before it finally seemed to be over. Benji lay clutching a gaping wound in his abdomen, with no more bodyguards around to protect him, yet Gaetano turned his back and walked away. Sources close to Badalamenti say that he could not bring himself to end the life of his former friend and associate, and instead chose to leave him to his fate, with the wolves already closing in. Whether this was an act of mercy, or a pang of guilt, it was a mistake that proved fatal to Badalamenti. After getting off the train in Chicago, he was confronted by the still wounded Benji, pistol drawn, and was shot dead on the platform. The Miami Boss’ death seemed a shock to everyone, especially his family who had not expected such an outcome when the day began. Badalamenti had been in quite a few gunfights and was considered near-invincible by some of his closer friends, a belief that was sadly proven very wrong. Benji did not make any miracle recovery though, and was soon found dead on the streets of Chicago, along with Made Man The_Avalanche. Their killers are as of yet unknown, though the Police are appealing for witnesses, and some reports indicate the involvement of Dante Hicks and Faustino, who were both seen in the area at the time of the deaths. 'VEGAS ERUPTS IN VIOLENCE YET AGAIN ' By Randle McMurphy The cursed city of Las Vegas has erupted in violence yet again, in a dramatic end to the peace that had begun to settle since the introduction of The Commission. The killing began on Tuesday night, as Vegas Wise Guy Carlo was gunned down in Denver. It is believed that the persona of Carlo may never have actually existed, and that he was actually a notorious identity thief known as ‘DragonFire’. DragonFire has been deported from the United States several times for a long list of crimes including identity fraud, harassment of women, and indecent exposure, and it is believed he suffers from several mental health problems. Carlo/DragonFire was originally shot at in Las Vegas, by an unknown gunman, and later lost his life in the Denver penitentiary. He was found dead in his cell, with several stab wounds to his abdomen. The finger of blame fell immediately to Corben Struan, Miami Made Man who was seen in the vicinity of Denver at the time of Carlo’s death, although these claims were vigorously denied by both Corben himself, and his boss Gaetano Badalamenti. Corben then took the train to Las Vegas, rumoured to be looking for cocaine to take back to Miami, and was attacked almost immediately by Passion of Brian second in command Pedro Calfatti. Sources close to the family divulged that in a last-ditch effort for diplomacy, Corben sent a messenger to deliver a note to Pedro, calling for a ceasefire before all-out war broke loose. The message was ignored, and the shooting continued, with both parties losing bodyguard after bodyguard. After being sentenced to a hefty jail term, Corben was attacked in the Las Vegas penitentiary by the infamous individual known as ‘Bubba’, and later died from a shank wound in his cell. The assailant was said to be Pedro Calfatti himself, although this has not been confirmed. We approached Miami Boss Gaetano Badalamenti about the situation; he had the following statement to issue: “On April 8th 1932 one of my trusted associates and Made Man Corben Struan, was brutally attacked by Mr. Pedro Calfatti, member of the Las Vegas organization known as "The Passion of Brian" it had been rumored that this attack was in connection to an incident regarding Corben and Carlo, son of DragonFire. Rather than consulting with myself Mr. Calfatti chose to act on rumor alone and openly attacked a member of Asociacion Netas. As the acting leader of The Passion of Brian while Mr. Giamatti was off on business in the old country we regarded this as an assault on the integrity of Miami by Las Vegas and took the necessary steps to insure the safety of Miami and its residents.” After the death of Corben Struan, mobsters from both Miami and New York descended upon Las Vegas, systematically wiping out most of its high ranking Mafiosi. The main gunman appeared to be New Yorker Woody Herman, and it is believed it was he who eventually took down Calfatti, along with many other Vegas residents. Jackie Giamatti stayed locked away in his Las Vegas headquarters throughout most of the fighting, but did emerge to kill Herman, and has since gone back into hiding. Now-Miami Capo DirkStruan was seen loitering in the area of several deaths in the city, but no connection has so far been made by the Police between him and any deaths. Many Las Vegas residents have lost their lives in the aftermath of this single gun battle, and Capo Jackie Giamatti eventually succumbed to an unknown assailant in Dallas, ending his city-hopping antics permanently. Giamatti never achieved his lifelong ambition of running a family in each of the major cities in America, and is believed to now haunt Dallas, his soul never to rest. 'MR. MAFIA RESULTS CAUSE UPROAR ' By Gazette Reporter The Mr. Mafia competition has long been marred with accusations of bias and event-fixing, but never more so than after the results were announced for the latest installment last night. With Chicago Citizen MadDog scooping four out of the five rounds, many contestants, and a few judges, have cried foul-play. Runner-up Randle McMurphy had the following to say: “I respect the judges decisions, and whilst I did not expect to win the tournament, I did not think that MadDog was the best contestant either, not to win by such a landslide. I thought, for example, that the first round should easily have gone to Absinthe, despite the fact he never actually entered the competition. I believed Dirk would walk it, in all truth. It’s a little fishy, but what’s done is done.” Several of the judges spoke out after the even, some privately and some more openly. Kayle Taggart made the following comment during the ceremony, “I know MoneyPenny wouldn’t lie or fiddle with the results, but as someone who never scored Mr. Dog over a 6, I'm going to call bullshit.” Another judge, who would rather not be named, described MadDog as ‘middle of the pack’, with yet another judge saying she did not rate him highly at all, and was not even considering him a contender. Although no official final standings were announced, it is believed that Dirk Struan pipped Gregoire de Fronsac to the 3rd place spot. Dirk, who also had much to say after the competition, took his venting to OOC avenue, where he called shenanigans on the whole contest. He had the following to say: “We as the ‘also rans’ made VERY large efforts with our answers… We worked hard, we were witty, we oozed charm without being smutty… MadDog wailed on for five rounds about how big his balls were! For the love of god!” Although the results will be hotly contested by many involved in the competition, The Gazette would like to congratulate MadDog on his win, and the rest of the contestants too for the wonderful effort they put into the whole competition. Here’s hoping Miss Mafia will be just as news-worthy, though perhaps for different reasons. 'MIAMI CHANGES HANDS ' By Randle McMurphy Following the death of Boss Gaetano Badalamenti, leadership of Miami has changed hands, eventually ending up with Capo Dirk Struan in charge of Asociación Ñetas. Leadership originally fell to oompaloompa after the death of Gaetano, as she was the highest ranked member of the family, being promoted to Boss shortly after his death. This was to be short-lived, however, as the very next day leadership was handed over to Struan. It is believed that despite her rank, oompaloompa was unwilling to assume a leadership role, and wanted transfer of the power she now held to be arranged as soon as possible. Struan made an announcement today on the streets regarding Miami, stating that they would be continuing the good work of Gaetano, and working to build on the structures he had already laid down in Miami. The city is still under lockdown to all unconnected Thugs, Hoodlums, and Street Bosses, and currently the Capo has revealed the business district is not accepting any new applications, as it is undergoing redevelopment. The Gazette wishes the family the best of luck, and wishes to pass on our sincere condolences for the passing of Gaetano, a personal friend to us here and often a visitor to our offices. 'NEW YORK CAPO DIES IN BATTLE WITH LA MADE MAN ' By Randle McMurphy East-coast Capo Oscar McVay has become the second high-profile New Yorker to die in the last week, after getting involved in the battles raging in Los Angeles. It is believed the Capo was in gunplay with Milano, a Los Angeles Made Man. Milano was not alone, and had several associates, all of whom left the city after a rather positive start to the engagement by McVay. Shortly after the bodyguards started to fall, Milano was seen hopping on a train to Denver, and was followed closely by Oscar. Tracking down Milano in Denver, eye-witnesses say they saw McVay take careful aim at his intended victim, and fire, only to be caught with a return shot from the Made Man, killing him instantly. Oscar’s bodyguards were caught napping, and subsequently fled the scene. Milano did not escape the encounter; however, gaining his own fatal gunshot wound mere minutes after Oscar’s body hit the ground. His assassin remains at large, and Police currently have no leads to the crime. 'JUSTICE SYSTEM UNDER REVIEW ' By Randle McMurphy After a recent street speech by Miami Earner Sonny Castelletti was overheard by a Supreme Court judge, the United States legal system seems set for a large-scale shake-up, after it was pointed out that not one single recently convicted murderer had been assigned a life sentence, or the death penalty. Chief Justice John Marshall has branded the light sentencing for mob killings ‘absurd’. Speaking outside his office this morning, he was quoted as saying, “By dealing out these light sentences for mafia-related killings, we are effectively saying that the life of those in organized crime is worth less than that of a law-abiding citizen. While there may be some who agree, I do not. We are all human beings, and every citizen of the United States has basic human rights. Murder is murder, no matter who the killer, or victim, may be.” It is reported that Chief Justice Marshall will be calling a meeting with other high-ranking Supreme Court judges to discuss the situation, and appeal to them to hand out harsher sentences for murder. The justice system has received much bad press in recent years, with several high-profile cases of corruption running right the way through the legal system. It is hoped that this very public outburst by one of the justice system’s own high-rankers may quell the spate of mob violence we have seen over the past few years. 'A LETTER FROM THE EDITOR ' Dear readers, This edition has been a particular struggle, as I have been left to fend almost by myself, as my Managing Reporter Natatia has not been available due to unforeseen circumstances. I’ll put this bluntly, we need reporters. And not just people who say they want to write, but never produce an article. By now I would imagine most people have read The Gazette, and can see the style and general theme of most of the articles. I fail to believe there is only one person in our community who wishes to be a regular reporter. Please, if you want to write, come forward, and actually produce some work, not just express an interest. Don’t worry if you don’t think it’s up to scratch, everyone started somewhere, and that is why the paper has an Editor, and not just a random assembly of reporters that throw articles straight onto the streets. Natatia and I are doing our best, but this newspaper could be so much better, if the community was willing to follow up on the promises it gives. Thank you, Randle 'OBITUARIES ' Gaetano Badalamenti was a simple man; he valued his friends and family more than any other. And we valued him above all else too. His loss was a devastating blow for Miami, for Asociación Ñetas, and for me personally. But I don’t think he would want us to mourn his loss, rather celebrate his life, and let him live on through the wonderful achievements we are going to make in the city. We will all honour his memory by being the best we can be, and making him proud, wherever he may be now. Sleep well Gaetano, you will be missed. Sonny Castelletti, on behalf of Asociación Ñetas. 'ANNOUNCEMENTS/CLASSIFIEDS ' It is free to advertise here. Just mail Randle or Natatia with your advert, for it to be included in the next edition. Enjoy the races? Demand the best liquors and wines? Come join us at Natatia's Stables Priding ourselves in providing a relaxed, fun atmosphere for those dedicated to the ponies, specialized beverages, and interesting encounters. The finest in cataring is available for all occassions, contact Natatia or stop by. Mention this ad and your first drink is on us. Hice19 (talk) Have questions about the future? Require special assistance with a particular project or person? Seeking out religious items for personal use or gifts? Come visit the Moonstruck Emporium and Soothsayer. Located on the outside edge of Little Havana in the beautiful city of Miami. Proudly offering the finest in religious needs and supplies, which are difficult to come by in many cities. For those with ills, disturbing problems, or nagging questions, Natatia offers her many services to help put your soul and mind to rest. Prices are reasonable and all meetings are held in the strictness of confidence. Hice19 (talk) Visit Colby's Pizzeria, it's "the best pizza in Miami". Don't believe it? Come and find out for yourself. Hice19 (talk) The Beach Bum – Like the beach? Like alcohol? Then combine the two, and visit The Beach Bum in Miami. Asociación Ñetas members drink free. Hice19 (talk) The Mafia Gazette is now recruiting! Think you could handle a career in professional journalism? Contact Randle or Natatia for further details, or drop by the head office in Miami.